Lots and Lots of Grace

I am awe struck tonight thinking about the amount of grace my Vinnie gave to me over the years. Can you see it in our last photo of each other here? I am so thankful that this picture was taken because this picture captures the grace we learned to have for each other. We drove each other crazy at times and we loved each other like crazy too.

This refreshing thought comes after another one those moments when I think twice about conversations that I've had with Vinnie. It is sometimes agonizing because I never got the chance to ask him if I understood him right, or he got what I meant, or if he agreed, or did he know I agreed with him...and the list of questions goes on. It's agonizing because now, there are no answers; there's no one to ask as I second guess the conversations of the past.

When Vinnie was sick, especially in the last month when dozens and dozens of people would come to see Vinnie, we never had the time I so badly wanted to have with him in the end. But here's the bottom line...I would never been able to think of every conversation we'd had in the past, I'd never be able to think of all the questions I have now. The reason? Because before he was gone, we understood the grace we had for each other. I didn't question past conversations. It's easier to question our past conversations now because he's not here to affirm his grace for me. It's just my questions and empty space.

But after shedding tears and begging both Vinnie and God to me being a wretch, for anything I did or said in the past that was stupid, mean, ugly, thoughtless or selfish, I am OK. That is when I remember his grace for me and mine for him.

I write this tonight because I know someone reading this now, or in many years from now, will be able to relate to what I'm saying. Let me encourage you, girls (and guys) to remind your spouse, without them even asking, that you love them, the real "them" and all the sin and bad stuff is just to be expected because we are sinners. Remind them that the bad stuff is gone, gone to hell where it belongs and you've let it go because you never know when you will suddenly rethink a conversation and it will be too late to ask about it. Have grace, lots and lots and lots of grace.

If you are married, have grace, lots of grace. Give it and ask for it. If you are single, practice having and giving lots of grace to every relationship you have with friends and family. The more you do it, the more you will be a pro at doing if you do get married. Grace - it's the crux of what allows us to have had our sin removed from us and put upon perfect our Jesus. Grace - it's the crux of what enables us to live with others peacefully and peacefully live when others have to leave us.