Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Lots and Lots of Grace

I am awe struck tonight thinking about the amount of grace my Vinnie gave to me over the years. Can you see it in our last photo of each other here? I am so thankful that this picture was taken because this picture captures the grace we learned to have for each other. We drove each other crazy at times and we loved each other like crazy too.

This refreshing thought comes after another one those moments when I think twice about conversations that I've had with Vinnie. It is sometimes agonizing because I never got the chance to ask him if I understood him right, or he got what I meant, or if he agreed, or did he know I agreed with him...and the list of questions goes on. It's agonizing because now, there are no answers; there's no one to ask as I second guess the conversations of the past.

When Vinnie was sick, especially in the last month when dozens and dozens of people would come to see Vinnie, we never had the time I so badly wanted to have with him in the end. But here's the bottom line...I would never been able to think of every conversation we'd had in the past, I'd never be able to think of all the questions I have now. The reason? Because before he was gone, we understood the grace we had for each other. I didn't question past conversations. It's easier to question our past conversations now because he's not here to affirm his grace for me. It's just my questions and empty space.

But after shedding tears and begging both Vinnie and God to me being a wretch, for anything I did or said in the past that was stupid, mean, ugly, thoughtless or selfish, I am OK. That is when I remember his grace for me and mine for him.

I write this tonight because I know someone reading this now, or in many years from now, will be able to relate to what I'm saying. Let me encourage you, girls (and guys) to remind your spouse, without them even asking, that you love them, the real "them" and all the sin and bad stuff is just to be expected because we are sinners. Remind them that the bad stuff is gone, gone to hell where it belongs and you've let it go because you never know when you will suddenly rethink a conversation and it will be too late to ask about it. Have grace, lots and lots and lots of grace.

If you are married, have grace, lots of grace. Give it and ask for it. If you are single, practice having and giving lots of grace to every relationship you have with friends and family. The more you do it, the more you will be a pro at doing if you do get married. Grace - it's the crux of what allows us to have had our sin removed from us and put upon perfect our Jesus. Grace - it's the crux of what enables us to live with others peacefully and peacefully live when others have to leave us.


Jackie said...

Wow, thank you for that. It is very easy to get caught up in the hussle of life. We have four children and sometimes they I mean life takes over.Lol! This is a great reminder to kiss my hubby often and let him know he is appreciated. My grandmother had many regrets when my grandfather passed. Actually it was his 73rd birthday and they had an argument. He was going down to the drug store and she said, "don't bother coming back." When he was at the store he had a heart attack and died. Those were the last words she said to him. It tortured her the rest of her days. What you said is so true to show the ones you love grace and not to end up burdened with regrets like my poor Grandma did.

Gailie said...

I am so glad this has been a blessing to you. While we need to have grace for those living, we can also remember that if a loved one dies and we are confident that they've gone to heaven, they also have grace for those of us mortal sinners left behind who may have said something mean like your grandma did before her husband died. This all makes me even more aware of our need for Christ - ALL of us! Blessings to you...

Wendy Sergent Freeman said...

What a beautiful reminder that His Grace is sufficient for all of our needs...none of us is perfect, none of us will ever get it "all" right. If it weren't for grace we would continue to be dragged down, down, down...where we can't possibly function as Christ would like us to. His Grace takes us by the hand, draws us to His heart, fills us with His strength to move beyond our failings...we all have those failings...but Grace pulls us through them and beyond them. Praise be to our living God!

Gailie said...

How far down would we be?!!! Aren't we so blessed?!!! god bless.