Monday, April 13, 2009

Moldable and Teachable

In all my wrestling with God these past few months in a quest to understand this overwhelming passion to know what and where God is driving me to in this new season of life He's put me in, I have come to a wonderful revelation tonight. I've searched in all the places I am confident I could take on if He'd give it over to me. I have sort of been saying, "Lord, here am I; tell me whatever it is you want me to." That sort of sounds right, doesn't it? But my heart has meant - "I have walked a long and hard journey with you, Lord, and I am ready to take on whatever you have for me so bring it on, I can handle it, I can do it."

Tonight it dawned on me that He still wants me to be a pupil. I am still supposed to be the student while He is teacher. In fact, looking back in time, everytime He used me in one way, He first trained me. I didn't realize it until tonight but I've arrogantly been believing I'd learned enough to "get on with it"! Wow...there's some arrogance for you. But I'm not ashamed of that because I know others must go "there" too. It's part of our human nature. No. I am just so thankful for God's grace that He waited for me to see what has to happen next. I heard Pastor Yohannan of India recently say that people are often times blaming the enemy, the devil for their greatest downfalls when in fact, our biggest enemy and cause of downfall is our self centeredness! How true! I must be taught, trained and molded. He still wants to be the potter and He still wants me to be His clay. Self centered people can't be molded or taught anything!

I am so excited about this revelation, though it sounds simple. I know it may hurt a bit - think about being pushed, poked, smooshed, squeezed, spun around and around and even have pieces carved out of you. That's what God wants to do to us and I am excited about that! I am so relieved to understand where He wants me - mold-able and teachable. I'm content with that, and I better be because I'll always be there. God will keep molding me until I go Home! I'll keep you posted as to where my training takes me. Stay tuned to the journey of this little woman (well I hope to be eventually) who is trying to discern the path God has for her now in this season of her life, and as God reveals the path to her, one tiny step at a time.

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