Monday, November 24, 2008
New Friends...New Things To Do
Well, I can honestly say that I have been having a wonderful few days. I went to choir practice last night and I was invited to go have hot chocolate with one of the ladies in choir who is not married. She's younger, like maybe in her mid to late 20s. I was tired; I had planned to go grocery shopping after practice, but I felt like it was my first opportunity to act single. Get that...ACT single. I am single. It's going to take a long time to get used to that concept. I am still Vinnie's wife - well, it's just weird.
So I ended up going to Starbucks about 9 and stayed an hour - until the place closed, then went outside to talk for another 15 minutes in the cold! I went shopping after that! I know it was late and it would have been good to go to bed right about then, but there were no lines in the store and there sure would be after work the next day, especially with Thanksgiving just days away. It was good to chat with girlfriends. I haven't really felt like I've had much time with girlfriends. It was wonderful!
Tonight I had a gold party. Friends are supposed to come over and bring old gold. The gold people examine the gold and but it from you. They give you cash. Not too many parties let you go home with money. It's fun. But only one friend showed up! It was okay though because two other friends gave me gold and they got good money for their gold too. But the party didn't last too long since there weren't any other guests. When the gold people left, I had another lady to stay and chat with me! Oh my goodness...it was so nice to have company! She stayed until just a little while ago - 11 PM! Yikes! I am becoming such a night owl! I really need to go to bed but I just have to say that I like girlfriend time. I have been with married ladies for so long and when I am free to be with them, they are with their husbands. That's appropriate but for me, I need to look for friendships where husbands can spare the girls for a night once in a while and/or some other ladies looking to spend girlfriend time with me. One young lady wants to come bake cookies together with me for the holidays! How cool is that?! And another lady I haven't spent time with since we were home with our kids, wants to have a night together to visit while her husband is involved in hockey season, and yet another wants to go to a movie with me one Saturday!
I am so excited to think about new things - new things to do with my spare time (oh gosh if I could just get through all the banking stuff that has piled up over the past three months. Will I ever get it off my plate so I can really have time cleared up to go have girlfriend time? It doesn't feel like it!) Anyway...I am beginning to see, for the first time since Vinnie died, that I might have a life of my own. I'd trade it in a heart beat to have my Vinnie back. I'd give almost anything with my integrity for that! But I also know there's nothing I can give to have that. He's not coming back here and I have to stay. He'd want me to live and seek the life that God wants for me now. I have a choice to either stay buried at home in loneliness, trying to understand how God can fill the void of my husband no longer holding me in his arms while we dream and reminisce together. The only way that earthly void is going to be filled is with some earthly flesh and blood and girlfriends will fill that void pretty well. It seems to be a good fit for now. I feel young again and excited to see what kinds of new friendships God will put in my path in the days, months and years ahead.
Soon I'll start putting up pictures of me and my friends on my blog! But since I don't have any yet, you will continue to get pictures of my Vinnie - old and recent ones. Hope you love looking at him from over the years. He was a very special man, very special. I will always love him from the bottom of my heart. He was the love of my life. He always will be...but it's different now. It's different now.