Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Strong or faith and confidence?

This is my youngest daughter, Shelly, graduate of UNCG in Psychology. My other daughter is pursuing a nursing degree, and my step daughter has a degree in early childhood. I am very proud of them. Can you tell?

I have sometimes been told that I am 'so strong'. I was thinking about that today and here's the truth of the matter. I am not strong, well not in the sense that I've thought of people being strong in the past. I think of a 'strong' person who doesn't have a relationship with Christ as one who is a bit tough, hard, and so focused on something that there are no distractions that would bring laughter, crying, or emotion of any kind. THAT does not describe me. I laugh, cry, and am not afraid to experience any emotion or talk about it with others. I don't know that strong is the right word...I am not tough, hard or callus. I'm wondering if it's more that I am confident. I am confident. Oh, not in myself, believe me, but I am confident in who God is. I am confident of who I am in Christ. I am confident that if I pray for something and it doesn't come to pass, that I am the one who didn't get it right, not God, or His timing is better than mine and I need to pay attention.

I know that people think I am strong because I can laugh and live and carry on now that Vinnie is gone. I love Vinnie and miss him so much but I know he and our Heavenly Father want me to live. This is where I live. I don't usually know what I am doing but I do know that even if I haven't figured it out, God is always doing something and I am sure, because He is good and He is love, that He knows what is best for me and what will most glorify Him and prove that He is exactly who He says He is and always will be. That is what I am confident in and hope to get more and more confident in that until I can go Home. I can't imagine living any other way!


Shawna said...

I think another great word is courageous. It takes courage to face facts, to open your heart to feel potentially unpleasant emotions, to have faith in someone or something or someplace that has no material proof, etc.

All the best.

Gailie said...

Thank you so much for your comment, Shawna. It does take courage to trust in the invisible in the beginning, but the Lord is faithful to build the faith of those who start out with the willingness to trust to some measure. Over time the foundation of knowing we can trust everything He says He is becomes that confidence I wrote about. God truly is amazing and I see it more and more as my walk with Him becomes one of greater and greater dependency.